Unscrewed with Martin Sargent

You'll understand Martin's disturbed look once you find out what staff scientist Perry did with Marty's precious Virtual Sex Machine. Also on tonight's episode, Martin will learn t...

It's only the second episode and ""Unscrewed"" is already bringing out the barely dressed beach babes. Wait till you see week eight! Also scheduled on tonight's show is a short man...

Rael, spiritual leader of the Raelians, is the byproduct of a romantic tryst between a human woman (mom) and a lusty little green man (dad) from a far-off planet. It's no surprise,...

On tonight's oral-theme episode of ""Unscrewed,"" Martin travels through time with a deranged dentist and gets business tips from an online porn queen with a certain undeniable tal...

Now we're getting somewhere. Monday's episode of ""Unscrewed"" promises to be the best yet, with not one but two mind-blowing guests who are as sexy as they are strange. First up i...

Major Ed Dames puts the ESP in espionage. For years, Dames worked as a remote viewer for the US government, tracking down enemy targets with the uncanny powers of his subconscious....

No, Gillian Anderson has never starred in an adult film alongside a goat. Those images you downloaded from KaZaA are something we in the industry call ""fake."" On tonight's show w...

Of all the television seasons during which the world can end, why does it have to be this one? ""Unscrewed"" is just getting off the ground. Martin just made the final payment on h...

Scott Herriott is back. And he's pissed. OK, he's not exactly pissed, but he's sort of grumpy. Grumpy like a fox! Fine, foxes aren't grumpy, but the point is, Scott Herriott of ""I...

Last summer's blockbuster thriller ""Signs"" made crop circles a household name, though it did little to ease the difficulty pronouncing M. Night Shyamalan. In the movie, the myste...

Maddox fans, prepare to soil yourselves. The creator of The Best Page in the Universe will be on tonight's show to teach us the ins and outs of being a successful camwhore. Also on...

Tonight marks the first installment of ""Dear Blog,"" a recurring feature in which Martin poetically recites passages from your random weblogs. Trust us, it's funny. Also on the sh...

""Unscrewed"" has a kung-fu death grip on the pulse of the American music scene. Our industry insiders tell us that washed-up '80s hair bands are hotter than ever, so we rushed out...

Prepare yourselves for the most outlandish ""Unscrewed"" episode to date. On Tuesday's program, Pastor Jack J. Stahl will attempt to exorcise Martin's many demons (pornography, alc...

Hosting a late-night TV show on a channel with instant name recognition like TechTV can be dangerous work. The mobbing fans, the jilted lovers, the five-day pork rind binges to dro...

Tonight, Marty plays matchmaker as he scours the 'Unscrewed' Personals for a suitable mate for the lovely, and inexplicably lonely, Laura Swisher. Plus, the truth about alien impla...

Never before has so much evil been packed into one television program. On Monday's show the ""Dark Tipper,"" Kevin Rose, will unveil his most dangerous tip to date: a free piece of...

If the execs of ""The Flintstones"" can pat themselves on the back for showing the first married couple sleeping in the same bed, then we deserve some serious props for tonight's s...

Harold Ivey is our type of old-timer. This 70-plus Southern gentleman spends his days wrapped in handmade, skin-tight, groin-enhancing, leather and rubber clothing. Just like grand...

You may want to rewind that garbled message that's on your answering machine. It's possible that it's more than just a bad recording. It could very well be a message from someone b...

Despite what some of you seem to suggest with your email, phone calls, message board posts, petitions, picket lines, and assassination attempts, ""Unscrewed"" really is a technolog...

A late-night talk show isn't a late-night talk show until somebody eats bugs. On Tuesday's show, ""Unscrewed"" gets its official stamp of approval when both Martin and Laura chomp...

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Tonight, Martin meets his biggest fan, Dave Rich. (We're still trying to verify if this is his only fan.) This guy not only openly stalks Martin but also...

In order for a late-night show to be deemed ""legitimate,"" it must delve into the strange and inexplicable. Tonight, ""Unscrewed"" earns its wings. Mentalist Banachek will leave y...

It's a weird, weird world out there. Why, even as I type these lines, aliens are infiltrating the minds of innocent people all around me, immobilizing them, controlling them, even...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em. But that's not as easy as it sounds. With the laws ever-changing, it's getting harder to light up whenever you damn well please. How is one expected to go...

What do you get when you combine two tough and tiny midget wrestlers, one sneaky tip for scoring free Internet access, one red-hot co-host, one singing squirrel, and the always unp...

A lot of you ask what Laura does to maintain her terrific body. Besides her normal meal of cigarettes and ice cubes, she exercises. Specifically, in addition to her daily walks fro...

You've seen the poster in Mulder's office, right? The one of the UFO and the caption ""I Want to Believe""? Well, if you're already a believer in aliens, you're going to love tonig...

Go to your closet and start digging through your home videos. No, not the ones of your family vacation to see Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox. I mean the ones you made with your p...

Remember the good old days of the Internet? When just logging on via your 14.4 modem promised a plethora of crappy animation, urban legends, and chain email messages? When a man na...

Remember the scene from ""Poltergeist"" where the clown disappeared from the chair only to end up under the bed? If that clown scared the crap out of you, get ready for the next wa...

Growing up as a kid today has got to be the best thing ever. Beside the advent of TiVo and MP3 players, there are so many nifty gadgets we would have paid top dollar for (or swiped...

It isn't often that one feels sorry for Martin, but this is one of those rare times. Just last week, he made a sequin-encrusted sash with ""Mr. #1 Disny (sic) Fan!!"" printed on it...

In every long-term intimate relationship there comes a time when the fireworks start to fizzle. You can fake it for a while, you can hope it goes away on its own, or you can turn o...

Tonight on ""Unscrewed"" we're talking about dream jobs. No, not Playboy photographer or Jack Daniels taste tester. We're talking fantasy job, the kind you can't believe people get...

You know what this world needs more of? Conspiracy theories and hairy women. Lucky for you, we at ""Unscrewed"" are here to help. On tonight's show you can enjoy the musical styli...

On tonight's show we're showing you our very own version of extreme dating. First, we take the socially challenged host of an obscure late-night cable show and drop him off at a co...

Usually this space would contain a paragraph or two heralding the highlights of tonight's show and encouraging you to tune in. Not today. See, we don't need to convince you to watc...

Hasn't technology done wonderful things for relationships? Now, instead of heading out to your local watering hole and hoping to meet your dream date over a round of boilmakers and...

Have you ever tried something different -- something kinky -- in bed with your special lady without asking her first, only to have her blow up at you? Did you have to enlist the he...

Television is a demanding business. You're pretty much told what to do and when to do it. Take our resident Ghost Hunter, Scott Herriott. He was busy working on personal projects,...

The RIAA has made itself clear. Stop the downloading, or else. Well, if the RIAA was forced to make a living on the peanuts we earn a week, maybe it'd understand why we do it. Afte...

Don't you hate it when you come home from a hard day of panhandling only to find your spouse has packed up her things and moved to another country to be with someone she met in an...

Don't you hate it when you're sitting on the can trying to ""take care of business,"" but you can't, 'cause someone is watching you and making you nervous? It's time you put an end...

Tonight's show is destined to get a little out of control. In fact, we'll be surprised if Martin can make it through the entire episode. On the show, we'll be testing those persona...

Only in America can we force a recall for a governor, and only in America can someone like Martin get his own TV show. Since we can't recall Martin from late night, (believe us, we...

You've all looked at porn. We can tell just by looking at traffic reports from the ""Girls Gone Wired"" galleries. There really isn't any harm at viewing porn from time to time, ri...

You're sitting in front of Starbucks enjoying a venti caramel macciato with soy milk (Martin's favorite), and out of nowhere a group of people show up, chant a ridiculous phrase, a...

It seems it's getting harder and harder to watch porn. They've closed just about all the X-rated movie houses. Porn has vanished from most of the major rental stores. And at the es...

I'm sure many of you are still virgins, and that's OK. But if you haven't done the deed by age 22, you may want to turn to drastic measures. Tonight you'll meet Ryan Bennett. He's...

We know. It's hard to believe the American government would withhold information from its citizens. But when it comes to UFOs (among other things) the government tends to give us t...

As you may have guessed from watching Martin, hosting your own TV show ain't easy. Which is why we've developed such an ardent appreciation for Jim Spagg. This wig-sporting nudist...

Ever since the RIAA decided to fine people for taking what ""doesn't belong to them,"" downloading music has become a potentially dangerous thing to do. If only there were a way to...

What is it about a tan that makes people look better? Tans give even ugly people a certain sexual attractiveness. It's definitely true that fat looks better tan. While not everyone...

Do you lie awake at night wondering what your future holds? Same thing happens to Martin -- only, he's usually half-crocked at a dive pub pondering his future. Ya know, stuff like,...

Tonight's show is for the latent gear-head in all of us. Do you swoon over tricked-out speedsters? Does horsepower get you hot? Are you a heterosexual male who purchased ""The Fast...

If you're a Bill-Gates-hating, Xbox-playing, Tolkien-reading, big-government-fearing creature of the night, you're going to love tonight's show. Because here on ""Unscrewed,"" we p...

Guns and girls go together like ice cream and apple pie, don't they? Which is why we're such big fans of Nolan Conley and his website GunGirls.com. The site was originally designed...

One of the best things about working in television is the tremendous opportunity for intern abuse. We can force them to fetch coffee, walk our dogs, pick up our dry-cleaning, and m...

I've never understood men's obsession with women wrestlers. OK, so you put two attractive girls in bikinis and you watch them roll around on the floor, or the mud, or the vat of Je...

Tonight on ""Unscrewed"" we're going to show you how you can score a piece of ass! No, not like that. Sheesh, you people have such dirty minds. What I mean is, butt-printing artis...

Tonight on ""Unscrewed,"" Laura takes her shirt off. There's more to it than that, of course. It's a gesture of solidarity and sisterhood dedicated to Bunny Bunns, who will also b...

Many people seem to be laboring under the false impression that making an X-rated movie is easy. Sure, the lighting is terrible, camera angles awkward, titles laughable, and acting...

It's our very first Halloween here on ""Unscrewed,"" and we're determined to make it ghoulishly good for the whole family! So gather your friends and loved ones around the tube and...

Do you know what makes tonight's episode of ""Unscrewed"" unique? No, it's not the opportunity to see Marty and his stunt double attempt belly dancing at the Renaissance Faire. No,...

Tonight, ""Unscrewed"" brings together the undisputed King of Smut with the unproven Lackey of Late-Night Television. Tune in to see Marty talk with Hustler's head honcho Larry Fly...

Tonight's show is all about exhibitionists and voyeurs. If you like to watch, if you like to be watched, if you like to watch while being watched or be while watching or watch whil...

If you're a pet owner, you're familiar with this problem. Your pet is fed. Your pet has been taken to the appropriate place to relieve itself. Your pet is not cold, ill, confined,...

Tonight on ""Unscrewed"" we show you how to make it big using that glorious American tradition, the frivolous lawsuit. The best part is, you don't even have to file the lawsuit you...

Tonight we take a walk down ""Unscrewed"" memory lane when we invite back the very first guest ever to appear on the program, Alex Chiu. Maybe a second visit will allow us to deter...

We get a tremendous amount of email here at ""Unscrewed,"" and a significant portion of it seems to suggest that Martin has ""issues."" To which we have formulated the following re...

From exposing secret societies to casting light on the plight of the modern-day waitress, ""Unscrewed"" is the Upton Sinclair of the late-night world. It's a hard burden to bear, b...

A computer is very nearly the ideal companion. It provides entertainment in the form of games, videos, and articles. It provides assistance in a variety of ways, from helping you r...

Let's say you've achieved some moderate degree of success in your life. You have a career you enjoy, a solid group of quality friends, even a satisfying romantic relationship. Your...

The Internet is an amazing place. Not only does it let you view tons of free pornography with the assumption of complete privacy, but it also unites a whole bunch of people who nor...

Rarely are you offered the opportunity to sharpen and dull your mind in the same half-hour of television. Well, tonight, we here at ""Unscrewed"" give it to you. First, the dullin...

""Unscrewed"" basks in the panoply of the Internet like a booze hound who won't drink the same thing twice. Tonight we'll discuss the bargain basement of Internet dating, absurd of...

Well, a lot's been happenin' 'round the ol' Internet. Seems like Paris Hilton has been a bit of a skank. If you ask li'l ol' me, that's just fine. That's the great thing about this...

The world is a torrent of mystery and duplicity. The good people of earth are besieged from all angles. Strife, both at home and abroad, threatens to disrupt the lives of everyday...

Well, it's come to this. We're kidnapping people. I thought that extortion would be the first real law we broke, but I was wrong, it's kidnapping. Every late night show needs a ban...

Man is a funky beast. The intricacies of our species are like a toboggan ride that's missing the driver, careening down the track of life. Well, look at me, I'm rambling again, but...

As the old saying goes, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Well, if tonight's guests are any indicator, it looks like the past might be coming back to roost. And to...

Oh, the yuletide glee. It's the holiday season again, and we're getting damn festive around here. Marty got so hopped up on eggnog, he even headed out into the woods to chop down a...