Crossing Swords
Goodhearted hero wannabe Patrick lands his dream job as a squire, only to learn the royal castle is a corrupt hornet’s nest of horny monarchs, crooks and charlatans. War, murder, full frontal nudity—who knew brightly colored peg people led such exciting lives?
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Trailer
Official Teaser
Where to Watch(AU)
Streaming data provided by JustWatch via TMDB.
Cast
Seasons
1.Pilot
8.412-06-202023mYoung Patrick dreams of earning his knighthood and dispensing justice to evildoers. He’s driven by his goodhearted, earnest nature, but also by guilt: his own siblings are some of...
2.Hot Tub Death Machine
5.012-06-202023mPatrick’s excitement to start his new squire job is quickly dampened when he is placed in charge of deciding who to execute as part of King Merriman’s publicity stunt. While Patric...
3.What’s Kraken?
6.012-06-202023mWhen Patrick scores highly coveted tickets to a Kraken watching cruise for his parents, he sees an opportunity to impress his hard-to-please father. The gift blows up in his face w...
4.In the Line of Squire
9.012-06-202023mAs a string of high-profile assassinations rock the kingdom, the headstrong and petulant Princess Blossom returns home from school to attend a giant music festival. Patrick is stuc...
5.Let Them Eat Clown
8.012-06-202023mPatrick is thrilled to escort King Merriman to a charity golf retreat, only to arrive and find out it’s actually the Chill Society, an annual bacchanal where rival kings meet to di...
6.My Super Sweet Period Party
5.012-06-202023mAs the only uncut squire, Patrick is horrified to learn that he will need to undergo a circumcision to keep his job. Meanwhile, as Blossom celebrates the arrival of her first perio...
7.Look Who’s Stalking
10.012-06-202023mFed up with a string of bad investments that have led the kingdom to bankruptcy, King Merriman throws out a pot of “magic beans,” which quickly grow into a giant beanstalk. Seeing...
8.The Snow Job
6.012-06-202023mWhen a deadly plague sweeps through the Kingdom, Patrick accompanies the royal family north to stay safe, isolated in an icy ski lodge. While the family makes it to the lodge, Patr...
9.The A-Moooo-Zing Race
9.012-06-202023mThe assassin has orchestrated the kidnapping of Princess Blossom, and a Minotaur holds her captive in its maze. Now the King and Queen must abdicate the throne, or their daughter w...
10.Unchained Monarchy
8.012-06-202023mPatrick returns to the castle with the rescued Princess Blossom only to find it under siege. The minotaur maze was only part of the assassin’s devious plan, and Patrick comes face-...
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